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Poster: Dancinbears Date: Dec 4, 2006 5:02am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Sexism

So, please be forwarned. this thread has NOTHING to do with the GD, so those of you needing to, please press the back key and exit.

I go to sleep last nite and wake up to see some posts, a little confusing because some were deleated. But I realize, once again, lately a lot of our talk has been about how we treat one another.... and this discussion is something that is unchartered territority, since I am the only girl here. But this discussion we shall have, at least on my end... you don't have to respond if you don't want to. and you could always respond in private...I welcome those. :)

I guess what happened 2 nights ago touched on sexism. I won't lie when I say to you that I felt it, and it hurt my feelings. And the posts, e-mails and PM's from a good many of you, some noticed it too. Again, it was something new for everybody, because you've never had a girl want to be part of the forum, and certainly not one so 'girlie', that was curious about all of you and asked a lot of questions. I got daughters, sisters, wives and moms mentioned...a lot.

but, 'virtual footsy'...now that's an interesting term. I have to believe that everybody's eyebrows are going up on that one.
Is it 'virtual footsy' if Arbuthnot and Max both mention Dire in their posts... 'move over wolfboy', after seeing my picture, and think I'm cute?
Is it if I'm labeled 'cute deadhead', or told that I 'singlehandedly upgraded the forum'?
Is it if Cush keeps bringing up he's over 50 and a leach?
Is it if Dire and I have this King and Queen thing going on?
Is it if Max tells me what kind of underwear he's wearing, after I tell him what kind I'm wearing....or that Willow tells me that's hot?

I guess when you take any man, and any woman and throw them together....even the married ones, the jokes will fly. especially late at night, when alcohol is involved. Someone mentioned recently that in cyberworld you could get away with behaving like you wouldn't in real life. That might be the fun of the internet. :) But the point I'm making, is that it's just that....fun. All in good fun. a joke. I felt completely confident that anyone reading that underwear comment was going to take it as such. that when I ask Cush, again, how old he is, he knows I'm bringing up the leach joke about my pictures, and we both get a chuckle out of it.

I realize that some of you might be thinking, if you do one, how do you prevent the other. This is the part about being a female that stinks.... you don't. No matter what, there will always be that 'rotten apple'.

I do want to make one last point. I am in contact with a bunch of you through e-mail and PM, and I have established a 'friendship' with some of you, outside what you get to read on this forum. There is an understanding between us, and a respect that I feel 'through the wires' of my computer. Do you remember my thread about a week ago, 'I just want to let you know'?? I do have a sense of humor. I was hoping you guys do too. But, I also hear the concern implyed (thank you Ian), and so the 'virtual footsy' will get toned down (sorry dire), but I can't promise it will leave forever. Cush said it best..... boys clubs are more fun when girls are in them. :)
~Dancin'

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Poster: deadmax Date: Dec 4, 2006 6:38am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Sexism

That sure is a lot coming from a ...... Girl!






















just kidding....lmfao!

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Poster: mcglone Date: Dec 4, 2006 6:26am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Sexism

hey db,

i didn't realize you were off-line until i had already send that message. i apologize if you felt ambushed.

i'm on zero sleep and have to tend to some pretty serious tech issues at my end (sure you can appreciate how frustrating that can be) or i would further address the sexism issue.

i'm not part of the spelling or grammer police, but i think the term 'girl' undermines you (same with baby, honey, queenie etc...) your're obviously a hard working, tech savy, passionate lover of all things GOGD and most importantly, a loving mother. i see and respect you as a woman, not a girl.

peace.

ian


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Poster: JodyC Date: Dec 4, 2006 7:38am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Sexism

I second that emotion!

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Poster: cush11 Date: Dec 4, 2006 9:29am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Sexism

Chuckles are absolutely where I'm at. There always was a lot of humor in and around the Grateful Dead....seems to me like a good tradition to carry on.

Note, Dancinbears meant lech, not leach...
But than again, I am a little light on the rent this month... ;)

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Poster: direwolf0701 Date: Dec 4, 2006 9:47am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Sexism

maybe she meant you "physically" resemble a leach ;)

(as well as being a lech)

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Poster: cush11 Date: Dec 4, 2006 9:53am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Sexism

twins should be somewhat careful when remarking on resemblence, and I prefer blood sucking leach any how! :)

I'll let you know when ups shows up, do work noon to 9 though.

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Poster: direwolf0701 Date: Dec 4, 2006 9:59am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Sexism

oh shit!! i just burned myself bigtime on that one didn't I??? i must be more thoughtful before handing out putdowns on my twin brother.

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Poster: cush11 Date: Dec 4, 2006 10:12am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Sexism

Ooooopsie...

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Poster: cosmicharlie Date: Dec 4, 2006 10:12am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Sexism

yeah, we gotta be more moderate on our sexual inyerendo's
what say you, darkhollow?
So dire, email me a list of shows you may need, after a week, hell froze over and i gave up on the 2 -10/28/79 shows i was trying to find a seeder for.

Check out these "Sick Bits" >>
http://bt.etree.org/?search=sick+Bits+Vol&cat=8&incldead=1

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Poster: direwolf0701 Date: Dec 4, 2006 10:33am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Sexism

thanks for trying man, the effort was much appreciated - don't blame you for stopping after hell froze over. your head must have a huge bump on it and the wall a huge dent.

thanks for the offer of emailing you a few shows i may like. i will give that some thought (lord knows that is a slow process - lol) - same goes for you if you are looking for anything that i may have that you are having trouble with.

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Poster: cosmicharlie Date: Dec 4, 2006 10:44am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Sexism

but wait! I just found another one there at shnflac, so I hopped on that....one was gd79-10-28...(failed) and this one, gd1979-10-28
(strange, a 2 digit difference and a new re-seeder to grovel to-lol)

Keep hope alive!

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Poster: high flow Date: Dec 4, 2006 9:51am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Sexism

Who is it, exactly, that keeps offending her?? Most posts I've read have been light-hearted humor. Very likely I've missed something, but I will say this...while the 'boys' here can be a touch immature, most are truly gentlemen and have high moral standards and good manners. Granted, there are always exceptions, but I hope DB sees the good in most and doesn't let a few stray comments drive her away.

All are welcome.

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Poster: direwolf0701 Date: Dec 4, 2006 9:58am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Sexism

i am offended my being called a "touch immature" - i am "immensely immature" and don't you forget it. thought you knew me better than that!! jeesshhh

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Poster: JodyC Date: Dec 4, 2006 12:42pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Sexism

Is that better or worse than being a touch head? Noy sure I know the meaning of that, bit I think you were accused of being one recently. Man, you're like a magnet for this stuff.

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Poster: direwolf0701 Date: Dec 4, 2006 12:48pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Sexism

no - i just responded to someone's incorrect understanding on what a "touchhead" was/is.

but calling me simply a "touch" immature is a vile understatement and was very hurtful ;)

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Poster: JodyC Date: Dec 4, 2006 2:33pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Sexism

So what is a touchhead?

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Poster: high flow Date: Dec 4, 2006 2:46pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Sexism

I believe 'touch head' refers to folks who discovered the band after the Touch of Gray video on MTV. It's kinda dumb, at least I've always thought...Especially since I first saw shows in 1988, but had been hearing GD since I was 6 years old. I knew almost all the songs at my 1st show. Nobody ever called me a touch head. In fact, I heard the term here at LMA for the 1st time.

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Poster: direwolf0701 Date: Dec 4, 2006 2:50pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Sexism

you werernt a real touch head - it was an attitude more than anything else

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Poster: high flow Date: Dec 4, 2006 2:55pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Sexism

I see. Touch Head chicks were probably welcomed, high-hair and all.....

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Poster: direwolf0701 Date: Dec 4, 2006 2:47pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Sexism

best as i can explain it: the mass assault of (ahem) "heads" that came out of the woodwork after touch of grey was commercially released, that were just there to get totally wasted and party and could really care less about the "true scene" - hopefully that made sense

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Poster: JodyC Date: Dec 4, 2006 5:26pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Sexism

Thanks. Makes sense.

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Poster: grendelschoice Date: Dec 4, 2006 3:00pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Sexism

oops. did a double post by accident.
anyway, like Keller williams says, "gatecrashers suck".

This post was modified by grendelschoice on 2006-12-04 23:00:07

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Poster: bluedevil Date: Dec 4, 2006 3:01pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Sexism

I concur and I actually got crap from people because I was part of the "disco dead" generation that got into the band because of "shakedown street". For those of you still bothered by the same, in homage to kurt, "all apologies".

In any event, like Nigel says in Spinal Tap, "What's wrong with being sexist?".

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Poster: direwolf0701 Date: Dec 4, 2006 3:02pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Sexism

and unfortunately those gatecrashers includes both new heads and old. freakin mob mentality run amok.

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Poster: grendelschoice Date: Dec 4, 2006 2:47pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Sexism

A "touchhead" is a derogatory term given by long-time touring heads to the hordes who "got on the bandwagon" when TOUCH of Grey became a top 10 hit in 1987. Kinda like starting to root for a sports team once they get good while ignoring them for all the years they sucked.

They were perhaps justifiably angry that after years of being able to walk up on the night of a show and by a 10 or 20$ ticket they now had to compete with trustafarians rolling up to shows in their Dad's BMW and having to mail-order away for tickets and hope they got lucky.

I know I was wondering what the hell was going on post '86...but the fact is when I started seeing shows in 1979 there were heads who were touring since woodstock who i'm sure were pissed that the Dead weren't playing tiny venues like the Fillmore anymore b/c of the new generation of heads, etc., etc.

So I got over my anger about Touchheads pretty quick and decided as long as they were enjoying the music that's all that mattered. Maybe they got turned onto Terrapin via Touch.

But I draw the line at gatecrashers. Those f***ers ruined it for everyone.

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Poster: high flow Date: Dec 4, 2006 10:00am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Sexism

Just trying to smooth some of the sharp edges off of my comments. I feel like I've nicked a few innocent readers lately. Sorry. I can be a plain-old vanilla cone w/ no swirl....for at least 10 or 15 minutes. Then, I will likely revert to my normally offensive blather...stand back!

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Poster: direwolf0701 Date: Dec 4, 2006 10:07am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Sexism

understood :)

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Poster: cosmicharlie Date: Dec 4, 2006 5:53am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Sexism

I can understand, since i was afflicted with GHC syndrome as a child. A picture of you, here?? I'll have to delve into the mire of threads for that one. I'd bet there are other women who post here incognito -or at least cross dressers like me ;)
never can tell...especially with SF Bay area deadheads